In my article last month, I mentioned that biologically we possess a wide range of emotions, including love and hate, pride and shame, anger and forgiveness, responsibility and indifference, guilt and peace. I also wrote that experiencing all emotions appropriately means being spiritually alive. I promised to discuss how the inability to feel these emotions leads to mental disorders in my next article. Let’s begin.

Our personality determines which emotions we feel in which situations. Individuals we define as having a depressive personality, when faced with a problem, look for the source of the problem within themselves. They don’t just look for it; they see themselves as responsible for the problem, even if that’s not the case. People with depressive personalities have an overly exaggerated sense of guilt, creating their own share in every negative event, and consequently experiencing intense feelings of guilt, sadness, and even grief. This is precisely why they are prone to depression and experience multiple depressive episodes in their lives. However, there are situations where we don’t share responsibility or where we lack the power to resolve the problem. We must be able to accept this and feel a sufficient degree of “indifference.” In this way, we can channel our mental energy into constructive and restorative areas; we can reach a position where we can be proud of ourselves or at least feel peaceful in our existence.

The second major problem afflicting depressive individuals, who create their own share of negativity, is anxiety disorders. Although they suffer the consequences of problems caused by others, they cannot shift the blame to others. If they do, they will face the consequences of those others’ failure to take responsibility, of their neglect. As a result, they will feel anger towards those individuals. However, for depressed people, anger is a very feared state. Because if they feel anger towards someone, they fear losing that person, that is, their love, completely. To protect themselves from this, they are willing to live a lifetime feeling guilty or inadequate. Unexpressed anger accumulates internally and eventually manifests as anxiety (irrational worry). The only cure for anxiety is to confront reality instead of fearing the loss of love. It is to confront who we have genuine connections with and who our relationships are hanging by a thread. It is an unavoidable reality that we must part ways with those who do not deserve our love and respect and make room for others.

There is another significant group of people suffering from anxiety disorders who have nothing to do with depressive personalities: narcissistic individuals. Unlike depressive individuals, narcissists feel no sense of responsibility whatsoever for the negativity they encounter. For them, the source of problems lies with others. They suppress and internalize feelings of responsibility and guilt. Just like suppressed anger, suppressed guilt struggles to break free at every opportunity, but because it cannot, it manifests as anxiety. Narcissistic individuals seek therapy claiming that even when everything in their lives is going well, they feel uneasy because no one is doing the right thing, or complaining of panic attacks they cannot understand. There is little you can do for them in daily life because facing reality is more difficult for them. If you try to do so, they will blame you. Telling them you’ve heard that psychotherapy helps with anxiety is the greatest kindness you can do for them.

Now let’s talk about the most dangerous group suffering from anxiety disorders: Sociopaths! Sociopaths, or psychopaths as they are also called, are constantly in a state of anxiety. They don’t look for their own share in a negative situation. Because if there is a negative situation, they are solely responsible for it. But they don’t even see it as a situation that concerns them. If someone suffers from a problem caused by a psychopath, they see those people as weak and feel disgust towards them. Narcissists, on the other hand, may feel pity for those who suffer. In short, psychopaths are the malignant form of narcissists. They cannot feel guilt, but they constantly complain about being blamed. Because deep down they know they don’t hesitate to harm others. But because they cannot feel genuine love for others, they cannot feel empathy or compassion. Therefore, they cannot be loved or accepted. However, every psychopath has people of low intelligence in their circle. Psychopaths use them for their own benefit, thus protecting themselves from the feeling of being ostracized from society. Gang formation and mafia activity develop in this way. In Maslow’s hierarchy of needs, the level of respect and acceptance is stuck at the lower rung of evolution for psychopaths, where fear prevails. For them, and for us, the best thing is “a functioning justice system.” Receiving punishment for their crimes makes them feel peaceful. Therefore, going to prison is not something to be avoided, but rather “feels like home.” Serving their sentences also eases their consciences.

Narcissists and psychopaths share a dangerous common trait: they are attractive! Highly manipulative and charismatic narcissists and sociopaths, if intelligent, become leaders. As leaders of a group, they avoid the risk of social exclusion. Even more frightening, they present their own immoral lifestyles as examples to others, making them the way of life for the community. Fraud gangs, corrupt agencies, or political parties driven by shared hatred… I’m sorry to say we don’t have any promising studies in psychotherapy for sociopaths.

As Ahmet Arif said to his little Adiloş, “recognize these things, recognize them and grow”… Recognizing and naming these things is what we need to protect our own strength. In this way, we can come together to demonstrate and see usefulness, and protect our community from these harmful elements.

See you next month with more good news….